Perverts of Massachusetts, rejoice! The law is apparently on your side when it comes to taking photos up the skirts of unsuspecting women in public.
Massachusetts highest court ruled yesterday that it’s not illegal to photograph underneath a person’s clothing without their consent, as long as they are not “partially nude.” See, if you for some reason were half naked in public, then photographing you would completely violate your privacy. But since you’re fully clothed, that deranged sicko can’t help if his camera is pointing upwards to your nether region, since it’s technically covered up.
“A female passenger on a MBTA trolley who is wearing a skirt, dress, or the like covering these parts of her body is not a person who is ‘partially nude,’ no matter what is or is not underneath the skirt by way of underwear or other clothing,” wrote Justice Margot Botsford, who has probably never had a photo of what’s underneath that judicial robe taken of her unknowingly.
The ruling came from a case involving local sketchy guy Michael Robertson, a 32-year-old man who had multiple complaints filed against him from female passengers who had their photo taken by him on the MBTA. A sting operation from local authorities showed that Robertson took an upskirt photo of a female officer and he was consequently arrested and charged with two counts of attempting to secretly photograph a person in a state of partial nudity.
Unfortunately, it seems that the vague language around “partial nudity” doesn’t include a reasonable area for skirts. Or dresses. Or, you know, the general privacy afforded to most people where they know they won’t get their hoo-ha photographed without them knowing it.
“In sum, we interpret the phrase, ‘a person who is … partially nude’ in the same way that the defendant does, namely, to mean a person who is partially clothed but who has one or more of the private parts of body exposed in plain view at the time that the putative defendant secretly photographs her,” stated the court documents.
So, the next time you’re in Massachusetts, ladies and gentlemen, might I advise you to wear pants? And all you peeping toms, now’s your change to head out to Massachusetts. Forget mirrors on the shoes, you can just do whatever you want there!
Oh good. It’s another case of Affluenza!
In what might be one of the most frivolous child vs. parent lawsuits to ever grace a US courtroom, 18-year-old Rachel Canning of Lincoln Park, New Jersey, was met with some stern words from the judge presiding over the case (and I’m sure some eyerolls when the judge went back into chambers).
Canning brought a civil suit against her parents, suing them for living expenses and tuition costs of her private high school and future college tuition, claiming that her parents had kicked her out of their home and that she’s not able to make money herself (normally when this happens, people get jobs, but that apparently just isn’t Rachel’s thing). The lawsuit asked that her parents pay the remaining amount of her private high school tuition (because screw public education!), her living and transportation expenses, and “commit” to paying her college tuition with an already existing fund, as well as her legal fees (let’s just throw some salt in that wound).
Her parents, meanwhile, say that she left their home willingly after she didn’t want to comply by their rules.
Judge Peter Bogaard denied the request for the high school tuition, as well as her living expenses. Judge Bogaard also set another hearing date to determine other factors in the case, which include whether or not Canning left of her own regard. He also asked the attorneys whether it was wise to “establish precedent where parents live in fear of establishing rules of the house?”
Canning alleges that she suffered emotional and physical abuse at the hands of her mother and father, Sean and Elizabeth Canning, saying that her mother called her ”fat” and “porky” and that her father threatened to beat her. The Cannings deny any truth to these accusations, stating that their daughter left after being suspended from school from truancy and disagreeing with their punishment of taking away her car and phone privileges, as well as no longer being allowed to see her boyfriend, who was also suspended. She is currently living with a friend’s family whose parents, John and Amy Inglesino, have fronted the money for the legal suit.
New Jersey’s Division of Child Protection and Permanency (DCPP), at the behest of the school, conducted an interview with Rachel, her parents, and her two younger sisters, where they ultimately “determined that allegation of emotional abuse was unfounded.”
False accusations in court and a sense of entitlement? I smell an episode of Law and Order in the works…
But to really get an idea of how much of a charmer Rachel Canning is, let’s read this little clip of a voicemail she left her mother:
Hi mom just to let you know you’re a real f*cking winner aren’t you you think you’re so cool and you think you caught me throwing up in the bathroom after eating an egg frittatta, yeah sorry that you have problems now and you need to harp on mine because i didn’t and i actually took a sh*t which i really just wanna sh*t all over your face right now because it looks like that anyway, anyway i f*cking hate you and um I’ve written you off so don’t talk to me, don’t do anything I’m blocking you from just about everything, have a nice life, bye mom
At the end of a lecture at Pratt Institute for Black History Month, Spike Lee had a few choice words when it came to the subject of gentrification. You know, that process that happens when “artists” and other creative types start moving into poor or ethnic neighborhoods and then all the hip white people come in and take it over, causing rent and property values to go up, which essentially displaces all the people who were there first. Yes, that gentrification. I’ve lived in the Capitol Hill area of Seattle since 2005 (what would be known as the “hip” area) and I’m watching it all happen first hand. It’s fascinating, to say the least, minus my rent increases over the years (not fascinating, that’s rather infuriating).
Anyway, back to Spike Lee. At the end of his lecture, he was asked about “the other side of gentrification,” which essentially means that good that gentrification can do when it comes to improving certain parts of the city. Well, Spike Lee was having none of it and raised valid points about why it takes a bunch of wealthy and/or white people to move into a city to make the services and area better.
Here’s the entire seven minute rant:
And if you can’t listen for seven minutes, here’s a few highlights from New York Magazine:
Here’s the thing: I grew up here in Fort Greene. I grew up here in New York. It’s changed. And why does it take an influx of white New Yorkers in the south Bronx, in Harlem, in Bed Stuy, in Crown Heights for the facilities to get better? The garbage wasn’t picked up every motherfuckin’ day when I was living in 165 Washington Park. P.S. 20 was not good. P.S. 11. Rothschild 294. The police weren’t around. When you see white mothers pushing their babies in strollers, three o’clock in the morning on 125th Street, that must tell you something.
Nah. You can’t do that. You can’t just come in the neighborhood and start bogarting and say, like you’re motherfuckin’ Columbus and kill off the Native Americans. Or what they do in Brazil, what they did to the indigenous people. You have to come with respect. There’s a code. There’s people.
And then! [to audience member] Whoa whoa whoa. And then! So you’re talking about the people’s property change? But what about the people who are renting? They can’t afford it anymore! You can’t afford it. People want live in Fort Greene. People wanna live in Clinton Hill. The Lower East Side, they move to Williamsburg, they can’t even afford fuckin’, motherfuckin’ Williamsburg now because of motherfuckin’ hipsters. What do they call Bushwick now? What’s the word? [Audience: East Williamsburg]
That’s another thing: Motherfuckin’… These real estate motherfuckers are changing names! Stuyvestant Heights? 110th to 125th, there’s another name for Harlem. What is it? What? What is it? No, no, not Morningside Heights. There’s a new one. [Audience: SpaHa] What the fuck is that? How you changin’ names?
I can’t wait to move to Beacon Hill so that I can gentrify another area of Seattle. Yes, I am part of the problem. But I’m also poor, so I don’t feel as bad when I do it, because that’s as close to the city I can live now without giving up my firstborn child to pay my rent.
Oh! Oh! Let’s play a fun game. Let’s play “Guess What State This Happened In.” Are you guys ready? Go on…guess.
Did you guess yet?
How about now?
Okay, here we go. If you guessed FLORIDA then you are today’s winner! You know who isn’t a winner in this? Florida, because everyone probably guess that state. Now, onto the story…
It seems that 58-year-old Maria Montanez-Colon may have had a few too many to drink and one too many lonely nights, because she decided that the best course of action to get herself some action would be to call 911 and ask them to send over an officer. You know, to have sex with and stuff. From WBBH Florida:
A Punta Gorda woman was arrested Friday night for misuse of 911, after asking dispatchers to send an officer she found attractive back to her home for some ‘extra duty.’
Police say the initial 911 call happened just after 6 p.m., when Maria Montenez-Colon complained that she wanted her Corvette back.
When the officer arrived at the Almar Drive home, he said Montenez-Colon was very drunk.
The 58-year-old immediately told the officer he was sexy and asked if he was married, according to the incident report. Then she started over-sharing.
Montenez-Colon allegedly told the officer, “I haven’t been penetrated in years,” and “I am so horny.”
The officer tried to steer the conversation back to the topic of the call, asking what he could do for her.
Montenez-Colon’s response was “You can [expletive] me,” according to the report.
The officer, of course, turned down Montenez-Colon’s offer and told her that she had signed over the rights to the Corvette to her son after her husband had passed away. Reportedly, Montenez-Colon tried to rub the officer’s chest as he was explaining why she couldn’t have the Corvette back. He then warned her that she couldn’t use 911 for these matters and gave her a card with a non-emergency number. Being denied by the officer was not something that Montenez-Colon had anticipated or liked.
Less than an hour later, Montenez-Colon called 911 again, complaining the officer who was at her home “pissed her off.”
The original officer arrived, along with a second officer.
Montenez-Colon reportedly complained about the original visit to the second officer, saying, “He was a perfect gentleman, but when I asked him to [expletive] me, he turned me down so that made me angry.”
When asked by the original officer if she remembered the conversation about misuse of 911, Montenez-Colon allegedly said, “I do, but how else am I going to get you to [expletive] me?”
She was arrested by officers for misuse of 911 and taken into custody. This is her fifth time being booked into Charlotte County jail since 2013, ranging from battery charges to violation of probation.
Oh, Florida. I don’t even know what to do with you anymore.
Image via Shutterstock.
Oh, sweet baby Jesus. That was my thought when I had to write that headline, because it just sounds utterly ridiculous.
In the last few years, thanks to fashion and different alternative trends, the beard has made a major comeback. Lumberjack style and manly facial hair has found its way into pop culture and for those men with patchy facial hair, it’s been an impossible look to achieve. I personally know this because my boyfriend, as great as his beard is, definitely has beard envy when he sees a more luscious and full beard in person or on television.
So what’s a hipster to do when the beard trend eludes him because of his shitty genetics? Well, get a beard transplant. Duh. I mean, if they can graft butt hair onto the top of your head, chances are they can totally do it to your face too. And do that they will.*
According to DNAinfo New York, doctors in the New York area are reporting a boom in facial hair transplants and it’s reportedly all thanks to the beard craze. Some men are actually paying upwards of $7,000 for the procedure.
“Whether you are talking about the Brooklyn hipster or the advertising executive, the look is definitely to have a bit of facial hair,” said Dr. Jeffrey Epstein, a facial plastic surgeon who has performed the procedure for 12 years.
Epstein said he started out doing just a handful of beard transplants each year a decade ago — but is now averaging about three beard implants a week through his offices in Midtown East and Miami.
Another doctor, Dr. Yael Halaas, says that his patients range in their 20s and 30s and that he sees anyone from artists to architects who need to fill in those empty patches on their face.
Of course, hipsters aren’t the only ones to contribute to the beard boom.
In addition to beardless hipsters, doctors said their clients include men who have struggled since adolescence to grow a beard, those undergoing a gender transition from female to male, men with with facial scarring and Hasidic Jews who hope to achieve denser payot, or sidelocks. A greater awareness of facial hair transplants has also fueled the popularity of the procedure, doctors said.
Alright, those some of those seem like reasonable and legitimate reasons for this procedure. And some of that just seems like vanity, which this completely is. It’s all about vanity, which seems ironic to me considering that most people who identify in this sort of alternative lifestyle do so to go against the grain of popularity, not run along in the footsteps of all the other sheep before them.
But I suppose it’s easier to be a sheep when you have a wicked fluffy beard than it would be to be completely naked. Or something. I’m not finishing that analogy. I’m gonna go take a nap until this fad is over.
*Okay, so they actually take hair from your head, not your butt. But if you’re going bald, I’d assume the next place they’d take it from is your derriere. JUST LET ME HAVE MY IGNORANCE, BUTT BEARD.
Alec Baldwin has apparently had enough of the world. At least, it appears he’s had enough of the public scrutiny when it comes to their critique of his behavior. So he penned an essay for New York Magazine saying goodbye to us all when it comes to his life in the public eye and Hollywood. Here is that essay (it’s a fun read, trust me).
Molotov cocktails and chaos rained down in Kiev, Ukraine yesterday after the truce between the government and the opposition crumbled. This new video from Russia Times (which, I’m not sure why they’re the ones showing this video) shows the anarchy that erupted between protesters and police. The standoff eventually ended in police either giving up or being captured by opposition groups. Just watch the drone footage below to get some idea of what happened.
Since, Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych and opposition leaders have come together and signed a deal to try and end the violence. The deal outlines the following, via:
Let’s hope that this truce agreement and deal sticks this time and that the new elections bring some sort of peace to the people of Ukraine.