Image via Shutterstock.
Oh, sweet baby Jesus. That was my thought when I had to write that headline, because it just sounds utterly ridiculous.
In the last few years, thanks to fashion and different alternative trends, the beard has made a major comeback. Lumberjack style and manly facial hair has found its way into pop culture and for those men with patchy facial hair, it’s been an impossible look to achieve. I personally know this because my boyfriend, as great as his beard is, definitely has beard envy when he sees a more luscious and full beard in person or on television.
So what’s a hipster to do when the beard trend eludes him because of his shitty genetics? Well, get a beard transplant. Duh. I mean, if they can graft butt hair onto the top of your head, chances are they can totally do it to your face too. And do that they will.*
According to DNAinfo New York, doctors in the New York area are reporting a boom in facial hair transplants and it’s reportedly all thanks to the beard craze. Some men are actually paying upwards of $7,000 for the procedure.
“Whether you are talking about the Brooklyn hipster or the advertising executive, the look is definitely to have a bit of facial hair,” said Dr. Jeffrey Epstein, a facial plastic surgeon who has performed the procedure for 12 years.
Epstein said he started out doing just a handful of beard transplants each year a decade ago — but is now averaging about three beard implants a week through his offices in Midtown East and Miami.
Another doctor, Dr. Yael Halaas, says that his patients range in their 20s and 30s and that he sees anyone from artists to architects who need to fill in those empty patches on their face.
Of course, hipsters aren’t the only ones to contribute to the beard boom.
In addition to beardless hipsters, doctors said their clients include men who have struggled since adolescence to grow a beard, those undergoing a gender transition from female to male, men with with facial scarring and Hasidic Jews who hope to achieve denser payot, or sidelocks. A greater awareness of facial hair transplants has also fueled the popularity of the procedure, doctors said.
Alright, those some of those seem like reasonable and legitimate reasons for this procedure. And some of that just seems like vanity, which this completely is. It’s all about vanity, which seems ironic to me considering that most people who identify in this sort of alternative lifestyle do so to go against the grain of popularity, not run along in the footsteps of all the other sheep before them.
But I suppose it’s easier to be a sheep when you have a wicked fluffy beard than it would be to be completely naked. Or something. I’m not finishing that analogy. I’m gonna go take a nap until this fad is over.
*Okay, so they actually take hair from your head, not your butt. But if you’re going bald, I’d assume the next place they’d take it from is your derriere. JUST LET ME HAVE MY IGNORANCE, BUTT BEARD.
The title of the British show Snog, Marry, Avoid just sounds like a semi-more polite way to say “Fuck, Marry, Kill.” Also, I’ve been told that this show is from BBC3, which only has programming aimed at teenagers, sort of like MTV or The CW would here. I admit, when I first started watching this video, I went into a YouTube hole and watched a few more because I find makeovers (or “make-unders” as they call it) entirely fascinating, but only because it’s interesting to me how many different looks one person is capable of.
This one was one of those where I was shocked at how different she looked, but also felt a little bit sad for her. She seemed happy with both her former self and her makeover, though she does seem more confident in the after. Perhaps she identified with the punk exterior because she was insecure or maybe she did because she truly loved the lifestyle.
I don’t know what I’m trying to say. It’s an interesting premise for a show and definitely the sort of drivel that I could find myself watching on a hungover Saturday afternoon. I mean, I did enjoy watching What Not to Wear in its heyday.
Also, that robot is a bit of a bitch. Shut your mouth, POD.
Just for reference, here’s another clip of the show, to also send you into the YouTube spiral that I went through.
First, I recommend watching this video in “Full Screen” mode. Second, switch the settings to HD. It’s some pretty cool footage of some hot Italians wearing designer clothing and base jumping off Italy’s Monte Brento.
From the YouTube description:
Roberta Mancino expresses her passion for fashion and her love of base jumping in this truly extraordinary “High Fashion” GoPro video starring Giovanni Silvestri, Andrey Karr, Luca Tondelli, and Maurizio Di Palma. Watch them jump from Italy’s Monte Brento looking fresh and stylish in Roberto Cavalli high end clothing. If you’re going to base-jump off a perfectly good cliff, you might as well look spectacular doing it.
It’s almost like a bunch of extras from a Bond movie got together. I like it.
Hold onto your butts, kids. Remember those awesome shoes Marty McFly got to wear in Back to The Future II?! The ones we all got super bummed weren’t real. Well, according to Nike designer Tinker Hatfield, they’re coming in 2015! From Gizmodo:
Hatfield showed up at the Jordan Brand’s Flight Lab space in New Orleans yesterday. When asked about power laces, his answer was pretty unequivocal:
“Are we gonna see power laces in 2015? To that, I say YES!”
Now, I know what your thinking: 2015?! That’s the year McFly travels to in the movie! Can it be? I dunno guys, but since we’re already counting down till the day young Marty arrives in 2015 we can certainly start the clock for these bad boys. Although, no specific date has been announced we know one the thing for sure: “Power Laces, Alright!”
Hallelujah and welcome to a brand new product called Period Panties. Okay, so Period Panties are essentially a Kickstarter that grew legs all on its own and rode a crimson wave straight into the hearts of females everywhere. With a goal of $10,000, they blew straight out of that bloody, shark-infested water and have currently raised $184,773 with 23 days left to go on their campaign.
The concept was actually started by a guy named Anthony who runs Harebrained! Inc., a design company that does some beautiful pop art illustrations. Here’s the concept:
Fun underwear that high-fives you for being a woman and serves as a friendly reminder to others!
Why settle for the old ratty or granny pair that you always wear? Celebrate your womanhood by wearing Period Panties! Sure, it’s not necessarily the high point of your month, but with Period Panties it doesn’t have to be the low point. Half the world menstruates, so why not have some fun with it?!
Personally, I love them. I love them so much and I want to buy all of them. And in case you were wondering about the materials (because all of us ladies know all too well about leakage…dat sneeze), here’s what the insides are made of.
The inner crotch is black and double-paneled (two layers of material), while the back and front side panels are white.
Excellent. Check out more of the designs below and check out the Kickstarter page if you want to grab a pair.
I know that there’s something to be said about loving who you are and that the standards of beauty in magazines and media is completely ridiculous, but if someone were to Photoshop me into some sort of cover model, I would be posting that shit as my Facebook profile picture so fast. SO FAST.
I’m sorry. I’m a semi-vain individual. I can’t help it.
I do love what these ladies say after seeing the pictures though, with most of them wondering why they ever envied the models in the pictures in the first place. I suppose when you can’t recognize yourself in your pictures, it feels a little empty inside looking at it. We are beautiful, flaws and all, is the message I’m getting.
Now, someone Photoshop me into a glamazon plz.