Gif via Defamer.
Last week, Justin Bieber endured an hours long deposition in Miami to see if he had any connection to his bodyguard’s assault on Jeffrey Binion, a “photographer” (aka a member of that swarm of annoying people with cameras called the paparazzi). The video of the deposition was leaked and now we get to watch what happens when you try to put Justin Bieber in a corner.
There are eyerolls, snide remarks, general asshattery, and enough one-liners to make even the infamous Zack Morris tell this kid he needs to take it back a few notches.
The best part, however, may have been during the last parts of the deposition where the lawyer asked Bieber if Usher was instrumental in launching his career. Bieber responded, “I was found on YouTube … I think I was detrimental to my own career.” Time to study up on those SAT words, Biebs, because “instrumental” and “detrimental” are not interchangeable. Unless it was a Freudian slip…in which case, it was the best one you could have made.
Watch the videos below.
Look at that face. That’s the face of someone only a mother and millions of tween girls could love.
Early this morning in Miami Beach, Justin Bieber was pulled over by police officers after street racing in a rented yellow Lamborghini. He blew a .04, but since he’s under 21 years old, anything over a .02 is considered a DUI in Miami Dade. He also reportedly told officers that he had smoked marijuana and was under the influence of prescription medication. He was released early this morning on $2500 bail and decided to charmingly sit on top of a car to wave to his fans, because he’s Justin Bieber and what are consequences?
Ugh, I don’t even want to report this. If you’re curious about what happened to Justin Bieber, then head on over to TMZ. They’re good at reporting on this kind of stuff and at this point, it’s just going to be laughable how he gets out of this.
Who knows? Maybe he can use the Affluenza defense.
The actor stated in a tweet:
Taylor Berman at Gawker believes this is “Sad news for fans of garbage movies.”
I must say, their comments section is hilarous.
While performing “Circus” at the at The Axis theater in Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas a few days ago, Britney Spears nearly suffered a complete wardrobe meltdown…er, fall-down? I gotta give it to that one back up dancer. He’s a true friend and had her back the entire time. Her bare back, I mean. Because her dress…nearly…fell…off.
I’ll just see myself out now.
I can’t tell if this is a hoax, an advertising ploy, or a legitimate proposal.
According to MTV, that’s a real 10 karat diamond ring. But his new album is titled “Suffering from Success,” which is what he claims ails both he and Nicki.
I’m calling bullshit. But if it’s real, congratulations?
Justin Bieber and his merry band of drunken idiots went out to Avenue nightclub in NYC earlier this year and decided to sneak out through Artichoke Basille’s Pizza on W 17th and 10th. Now, footage has surfaced that shows the little shitstain peeing into a mop bucket in the restaurant’s kitchen, then spraying a picture of Bill Clinton with liquid cleaner while yelling, “Fuck Bill Clinton!”
Weird. Maybe “Fuck Bill Clinton” is the new “YOLO.”
Anyway, this appears to be just another blip on the bizarre and terrible behavior of this unworthy celebrity. I mean, sure, if I was 19 with unlimited resources, no accountability, shitty friends and people who constantly told me yes all the time, I might be a piece of shit too. But as someone who grew up poor (remember when that was you and your family, Justin?), I would never do something that I knew would cause extra work for a regular working guy. You know, like peeing in a bucket so they have to change it.
If only the janitor had known the pee he was touching was Justin Bieber’s. He could’ve made a fortune on Ebay.
So, I await with the rest of you (who probably don’t even care and are going to ask, “Why are we even talking about Justin Bieber? Please stop so he goes away, you’re only perpetuating…blah blah blah”) to watch the inevitable Lohan-esque spiral. Or maybe it will be more entertaining like Britney Spears. Either way, grab your popcorn. And don’t touch any mop buckets.