…THE SAUSAGE CASTLE? THE SAUSAGE CASTLE?
Gary Busey’s nephew, Mike Busey, who also fondly goes by the moniker ‘The King of Rock and Roll and Debauchery’ was arrested at his home (aka The Sausage Castle…man, Mike, you just keep getting classier and classier by the minute) early Saturday morning for selling booze without a license.
I’m not even going to continue writing this story because 1) I don’t care about a man who calls himself something so ridiculous, 2) this tweet, and 3) I only liked this headline because it incorporated the phrase ‘The Sausage Castle’. If you want to read more about this turkey, you can do so here.
19 year old Hannah Sabata may be the world’s dumbest criminal. After stealing a car and robbing a bank, she did what any other sane and not at all woefully stupid human being would do and posted a video onto Youtube bragging about her crimes. From the description:
I just stole a car and robbed a bank. Now I’m rich, I can pay off my college financial aid and tomorrow i’m going for a shopping spree. Bite me. I love GREENDAY!
Correction, you idiot. You just stole a car and robbed a bank and now you’re going to jail. She doesn’t even attempt to hide any part of her indiscretions, with the video title reading “Chick Bank robber.” Sabata also has on the same clothes at the time of her arrest that she wore during the bank robbery, which was captured on bank surveillance cameras.
I just…there’s no words to…how…YOU ARE SO STUPID. GAAAAAAAAAAH.
Yesterday was World Aids Day and there were plenty of events held globally to help raise awareness and show support for those living with HIV/AIDS. In Shenzhen, however, one such event happened to be sponsored by Aihuirun.com [NSFW], a sex toy manufacturer.
The event? A masturbation contest, of course! The first of its kind for China and potentially the world. The contestants wore masks and discreetly (yet very, very openly) wanked to their hearts’ content while models in skimpy clothing entertained their eyes.
And there was one rogue, pink dildo [NSFW] that seemed to really confuse everyone.
According to Shanghaiist, the organizers of the event had this to say:
…The event is intended to emphasize Chinese sexual freedom and promote masturbation as a safe, zero-risk-of-getting-HIV form of release. A banner at the event read “China’s first jack-off competition.
So, you know. That happened.
FYI: The videos were a tad too NSFW to show here, so if you really want to, you’ll have to head over to The Shanghaiist to watch them. If anyone knows Chinese and would care to translate the terms of the contest and how the winner was actually chosen, that’d be fantastic. My mind is so confused right now.